Wednesday, July 2, 2008

DOH-mer Of The Week- Justice or Just-us?

Let’s give a shout out to Judge Thomas Gagola. And instead of leaving you sitting there thinking, “who the f**k is that”, I’ll give you a description. As last seen, Judge Gagola was on his knees, with lips puckered and planted firmly on the a$$ cheeks of Bills’ running back Marshawn Lynch. Gagola, my Doh-mer, gave even more proof that our court systems function with favoritism, and they’ll bend to give a smooch to the buttocks of a star, but when it comes to the average man, they bend us over.

Everyone is well aware that Marshawn Lynch went to court to face charges for a hit-and-run accident. From the moment of the occurrence, there was the anticipation of an outcome. Well, that outcome has come and gone. And in the end, Lynch’s wallet is $150 lighter and his license (that he only had for one day) is suspended. And no, I didn’t leave any zeros off the posted amount.

I’ve had speeding tickets more costly, and hit nothing but the gas. $150 wouldn’t cover the transport fee for the woman struck in the street by Lynch, assuming paramedics took her to the hospital. The woman suffered a bruised hip and required 7 stitches to close a wound. Anyone that’s ever been to a hospital emergency room knows that stitches are going for at least $250 each. This woman took the brunt of the punishment, with Lynch receiving none. I can't blame Lynch for that, even though he's a Golden Bear, and I'd really love to.

Lynch claimed he saw the woman, but never realized he struck her. He was said to react with a state of shock, when told that there are no speed bumps in the area he was driving. And in my defense of Mr. Lynch, it’s apparent that the noticeable damage to his vehicle, resulting from the incident, doesn’t signal that he hit someone, but says that maybe she hit him….... Okay, poor defense, but I tried.

When a person is stopped and blows a .08 in a breathalyzer, they’re cited for drunk driving. I don’t know about the rest of the country, but that’s an expensive citation in my parts. You begin with court fees, court ordered substance abuse classes (at your expense), license suspension, and any possible attorney fees. In the end, that .08 may cost you thousands of dollars, and you didn’t hit anyone.

The message is pretty clear, as laid down by Judge Doh-mer and the NY state courts. If you are driving reckless, and you strike someone, don’t stop and check on your victim. Drive your stupid a$$ home, park in the driveway, and wait for the police to come to you. That’s only 150 bucks! If you were drunk, wait at least 4 days ,as Lynch did (not that he was drunk, but just saying), before making a formal appearance and giving a response to the accident. Do you think that would work for you? What's your time in the 40 yard dash?

There’s celebrity justice, and then there’s just-us. The gap between them is greater than the space separating talent between Bills and Patriots. Supposedly, Sheriff Goodell is going to look into the incident, but what the f**k for? A $150 fine? What would the NFL punishment be for a fine so small? Destroying the tapes?

So, in closing, if you happen to catch a Bills game this season, and you see that robed object Marshawn Lynch is dragging behind on the field. Just know that it’s my Doh-mer, with his lips still fully attached.

No comments: