Ever dreamt of being the campus ‘chick magnet’?

Quarterbacks get more than just the football glory. It’s no secret that they also get the chicks. Hell, you don’t even have to start, just as long as that girl can say she’s dating a quarterback. Do you have to be a winner? Hell no? Your team can be shutout on Saturday, and you’ll still score on Sunday. In the state of Washington, the cougars of Wazzu were offering the average Joe’s an opportunity to fulfill that dream.

Washington State’s quarterback depth has been decimated by injury, leaving them with 2 able body players and no one to lead the practice squad. As a result, they had an open campus audition, searching for anyone that looks the part. Frat geeks, Math-letes, and band members took their shot at showing off their old skills from high school, Pop Warner, and “Madden 2008”. The lowly Cougars are 1-5 on the season, so it’s not important to complete passes or hand off with perfection. Your job, after the two QBs ahead are carried from the field, is to absorb the impact of sacks, pick yourself up from the turf in a timely manner, and be a 3-down formality before the punt team appears. But always look at the bright side, you’ll still get chicks.

The winner was Peter Roberts, who last played for Woodinville High School in Washington. Stock up on the condoms, dude!